Dialectics: Romantic Love and Infatuation

(Note before I begin: Mr. Allen, I'm sorry if I do not do this blog correctly. And I'm also sorry that I partially am using one of your examples; I hope that's ok.)

"All You Need Is Love". "Can't Buy Me Love". "I Wanna Love You". "Love Is Gonna Save Us". Across every genre of music, from rock and roll to techno, Love is what it's all about. It's depicted across the silver screen and stage; it's what Romeo and Juliet died for, and the war of Troy was fought for. As a society, we seem to strive for it as much as we do for our own well being, education, or career. Marriage is thought of as a milestone in life, and the ultimate goal for a happy ending. However, modern television is full of secrecy, betrayal, infidelity and sleaze. In the US, approximately 45.8% of all marriages end in divorce, and are now much more casual and less binding as previous decades. Many of these rash decisions portrayed on the small screen and actualized in reality seem to me that immediate infatuation and gratification have replaced love.

And why not? Love takes time, responsibility, care. One can see how in a world of speed dating and one-night-stands, it can easily be bypassed. Infatuation can occur with possibilities of turning into love, but it might just be halted by outside factors like jobs or time. Even in the past, it was difficult to distinguish between true love and simple infatuation. Last year, while reading Romeo & Juliet, we had many discussions about the nature of love and if it really occurred in the novel. Some people strongly argued that they were not in love, because their obsession with each other was only for a short period of time, and they died before anyone could find out if they really loved each other. Psychologists say that a period of infatuation can last between 3 and 18 months, so many hasty marriagers (and teenagers in Verona) could be deceived into believing what they feel will last.

But then again, I would never argue that lasting love does not exist. The most supportive example to me was of my mother's parents; they were together for sixty-nine years. Although divorce has been an unhappy outcome to many marriages, there are still many that have stayed together successfully. And romantic comedies still seem to rake in millions at the box office, showing that although we love scandal, we still love happy ending just as much. I think my dialectic idea is that the most important aspect of separating love and infatuation is time, and also a healthy environment for that love to blossom.