Blogging Around: Emily and Brandon

My first comment was to Emily, on her blog about pressure on girls from the media:

Emily-I think your blog is a great point about the media's impact on teenage girls. I also get a few typical teen girl magazines per month, and I love reading all of the articles. I almost feel like the editors put articles on the cover that have to do with making oneself look more attractive and "hot", just to attract readers, but inside, a large amount of the articles stress more important things, and there are numerous articles about being a good person. There are also tips for exercise and eating right, as well as advice about problems and life in general. Since these magazines still contain stick-figure models though, their "feel-good" articles sometimes seem rather useless and hypocritical.

Next, I looked at a few people's blogs and decided to check out Brandon's. I always enjoy his dry humor and interesting insights in class, so I concluded that I probably would find something I'd like to comment on on his blog. (I was right.) I particularly liked his post about a joke Mr. Allen made in class a little while ago. I responded:

I completely agree with the statement that jokes can really turn a lecture, discussion or class around; I think they can also even help you remember information. They don't even have to be witty; sometimes an extremely corny joke can be hilarious and very tension-relieving. They can also be completely random, in the case of my Chemistry teacher: the other day, while we were learning about quantum mechanics, there was something called an "Aufbau diagram". He said, "I've realized it's extremely fun to yell German words loudly. AUFBAU!", making us all jump out of our seats. It was really funny,now it's easier for me to remember what that is, and it gave me a happier outlook on attending his class.

Metacognition: Poetry Revision

I enjoy poetry. I really do. And I must say, I like writing it a lot more than analyzing it. When you get to write it yourself, you can choose exactly what you want it to mean, no ambiguity, a definite (or at least mostly definite) solution. As Mr. Allen probed my writing and asked questions, it helped me find things to make better, even though it was a bit of a nerve-wracking experience. Sometimes it almost felt like I was pushing it too hard, adding too much of a good thing, whether in the form of imagery or explanation.

In this week's revision, I was informed that I needed to change some whole phrases and continue adding imagery. I was surprised at the latter comment, because I thought I had put in plenty, but doing my job as a dutiful student, I filled it to the brim with cinematic/theatrical vocabulary. I actually looked some up online to include, and added a new piece to a section of repetition. While changing the phrases that Mr. Allen deemed unnecessary or just plain wrong, I found some new ways to include alliteration and internal rhyme.

When I looked over my poem before turning it in, I wasn't sure what his response would be. There were a few things I had not changed because I was confused by what Mr. Allen wanted me to do with them, and to me, it felt I had overused the theatre terms a little bit. However, I received some very positive feedback from him and I'm looking forward to what else I can do to make the poem the best it can be.

I think, at first, I thought of my original poem as my precious creation, my baby, and I didn't really want anyone else telling me what was wrong with it. Even after the first revision, I thought, "Alright, it is fine now. We don't need to change it anymore." Looking back, I'm a bit surprised about how apprehensive I was to change it; I was thinking that I wanted the poem to be 100% mine and complete. Although I'm not totally used to the changes I'm making, I now understand that these revisions will ultimately make my poem, as well as future poetry I write, higher quality (and that Mr. Allen knows best).